Update from Monica

Dear Friends,

Hello Everyone!  It has been quite awhile since I have done an update on here, mostly because of the weakness these past several months have contained.  Also, because writing about Lyme is extremely difficult for me.  When I do have energy for writing, I prefer to write about something that has nothing to do with the illness that constantly reminds me of it’s presence with the pain and other symptoms.  It’s also hard to know what to share….I so appreciate people requesting updates from me, but never want to over burden anyone…and feel bad always writing about my lyme disease.  But as SO many of you are on this journey with me through your prayer and support and because I truly believe that God has a plan through this and that documentation is important, I am going to try to be better at updating as my strength increases. :-)  Thank you for bearing with me and for being so kind. <3

I was unable to do my normal treatments this week in Grand Rapids, but was able to go in today for an IV here in Lansing. Up until the “Lyme Episode” that caused this relapse back in the beginning of the Fall every time I received an IV I would get a MAJOR burst of energy and feel great for a few hours.  I SO loved IV days because of that! ;-)   Unfortunately now, I feel nothing but exhaustion even after getting a double IV in one day.  There’s not even a small increase in energy. My Doctors said that is a sign of my body being so weak and run down and depleted of everything that I need the nutritional IV’s all the more.  I will continue getting at least a double IV every week until my body starts balancing back out and strength returns.

Regarding my Lyme and severe gut infection-I just completed a 2 week course of daily antibiotic shots that were really hard to push through.  SOOOOO grateful to have those 2 weeks over.  The “die off” if causes from killing the Lyme is pretty severe along with the other side effects strong meds like that give me.  I’ll be doing another test this week to check the status of my gut infection. Please pray it has cleared up and that we can finally get on top of my Ulcerative Colitis.  There is a definite correlation between when my Ulcerative Colitis is under control and when I start getting on top of Lyme.  When my UC is not under control….Lyme goes crazy in my body because my immune system is so extremely compromised and can’t deal with two big issues very well.

Tomorrow I start 4 incredibly strong herbals to kill Lyme…2 of them I have been on before and they really helped to lower the Lyme count in my blood.  The 2 new ones will be to kill lyme in my brain and central nervous system…  I know I’m repeating myself in this next sentence, but I get asked so many questions about it that I will explain it again. To get rid of Lyme as chronic as mine, and that is in every organ of my body and in every form, there is no *one* medication or *one* herbal/natural supplement or treatment that works. The Lyme builds a resistance to medications as well as natural products and because of that you have to do what’s called “pulsing”.  Where you start and stop antibiotics and strong herbals…there is a science behind it and basically, it helps to keep the Lyme guessing and unable to build a resistance to any *one* thing. ;-)  I would appreciate prayer that easing onto these 4 herbals that kill lyme in different forms goes well.  The “die off” or “herxing” from killing lyme with these is anything but gentle and often makes me feel quite a few times worse before feeling in any way better.  It’s all part of the Lyme recovery process.  So even if it means worse before better, I’m ALL in this. Lyme has stayed plenty long enough as far as I’m concerned! ;-)

A HUGE happy thing for me today was Mom pushed me around in a wheel chair at the grocery store…until I got too dizzy….maybe 15 minutes of grocery shopping bliss!!!  And oh my goodness!!!!  It felt AMAZING to be someplace other than the Doctors office!  That is the FIRST time I’ve been inside a store since September!!  I felt like a little kid in a candy store!  It was so fun. ;-) I’m very grateful to have the energy to sit up for that long.  God is so good.  Standing and walking is still EXTREMELY difficult.  I now understand why so many chronic Lyme patients have to go through physical therapy to learn how to walk again.  My muscles just don’t want to work right and I’m so weak that standing is anything but easy.  I’m still completely dependent on the assistance of others with walking or standing….but clinging always to my promise from Jesus in Isaiah 40:31.  “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”  One day soon I’ll walk again on my own!  And….*tears*…I can’t even write that without crying. :-/  I’ll never stop thanking Him for strength…whether it’s to sit up, tie my shoes, be able to brush my hair…or just open my eyes…physical strength is a DIRECT gift from Him. <3  Today, the Lord was laying on my heart the precious promise that “…no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.” ~Psalms 84:11
I felt like He was speaking to my heart that as long as I am seeking Him with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength…each day…whatever that day brings…is *HIS BEST* FOR ME.  And I can praise Him for that! <3 Somehow, all of this…the intense physical pain, the weakness, the hard fight against Lyme…somehow…every day…this is His Best.  He is working it all out for good.  And I can trust Him. <3  It brought so much joy, knowing and trusting and believing that HE.IS.AT.WORK….and the second it’s HIS BEST for me to be healed, however He sees fit to do that, there will not be a trace of sickness or lyme or weakness left in my body. <3  Jesus knows the day and hour….and in the meantime, I can rest in His love, in His timing and in His assurance that He is fighting this battle with me…spiritually and physically. <3 He cares and He has allowed Lyme for a reason.  The Hope of His promises keeps my heart steady in so many ways and gives me the strength and courage to keep fighting. I’m so grateful for Jesus!

This song has been encouraging me:  <3  Jehovah Rapha, the Lord my Healer is my Savior…and I am one day closer to His promised Healing. <3  Thank You, Jesus! He is the God of the impossible. <3 The Doctors that say you can never fully recover from Chronic Lyme must not know the incredible power of my God. :-)  Impossible is NOT a word with Him…;-)

photo(8)

Here’s a picture from a few weeks ago of me getting my IV and reading Beric the Briton by G.A. Henty.  Being able to read again is a HUGE answer to prayer and definitely a praise!!  I never fully lost the ability…but my eyesight and dizziness prevented me from reading for any large amounts of time until recently…and I have jumped back into reading with so much excitement and I think I already have a full years worth and then some of books planned out! ;-)  Thank You, Jesus for eye strength!!!

Well friends, I know this was a very long update.  If you made it this far, thank you for your kindness and concern in reading. :-) Thank you for your prayers, encouragement and support.  Please continue to pray for strength, perseverance, courage and a never ending hope in the promises of my Jesus! <3  Pray that no matter what the future holds…that He is glorified.  This is very much still a fight for my life, but one that is also very much tenderly and lovingly in His hands.  I’m grateful to Jesus for never leaving me or forsaking me and grateful to all of you for being my cheerleaders.

I promise the next update will be sooner and not as long! ;-)

With Love, Prayers & Gratefulness,

Monica

Update

I recently read this quote by Hudson Taylor: “I am so weak that I can hardly write, I cannot read my Bible, I cannot even pray, I can only lie still in God’s arms like a little child and TRUST.” || I have felt just like that for most of the past 9 weeks since this most recent health episode. But God has continued to be incredibly faithful through His comforting Words in my Bible, through the encouraging notes from friends and family and the generous support of others. I haven’t improved very much over the weeks except sitting up is slightly easier and so is writing. I still need full assistance with walking and everything else. Another Hudson Taylor quote that really encouraged me was: “All our difficulties are only platforms for the manifestations of HIS grace, power and love.” I don’t fully understand this episode…and my Doctors don’t either…but that’s okay, because God does and He has a plan. Thank you for your continued prayers and for pressing on in this fight with me. I appreciate you all and pray for you often as I know you pray for me. “BLESSED be the LORD, who DAILY bears our burden, the God who is our salvation. God is to us a GOD OF DELIVERANCES; And to God the Lord belong escapes from death.” ~Psalms 68:19-20 “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. Let the REDEEMED of the Lord SAY SO, whom HE has REDEEMED from the hand of the adversary.” ~Psalms 107:1-2 Thank You, Jesus. ~Monica

I VOTED!!!!!

votingI VOTED!!!!

Hello Everyone! Monica here this time. Thank you to Erin Kissling & others who have been posting for me and thank you to all of you for praying for me!! I saved up my strength ALLLLLL day so that I would have the energy to ride to our assigned voting location & cast my vote! I was praying for God to give me the strength to sit up long enough to do that and HE DID! I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful that our voting location is only 2 miles down the road!!! Even with it being that small of an outing it wore me completely out and I’m crashed on the couch again. I am thanking Jesus for the small improvements of being able to sit up longer, though! That’s HUGE! I was watching YouTube videos today of fellow lyme fighters and one of them mentioned what a triumph it was when he could finally tie his shoes again! I was like….”YES”!!! Makes you thank Jesus for the “little” things…which are just as much blessings as the big ones. Please keep praying for me…especially tomorrow. I have a Doctors appointment tomorrow with my main Doctor and then an appointment on Friday with a Specialist. We are really needing clear direction & wisdom regarding SO many treatment decisions…as well as insight into what is going on with my body right now. I’m really not doing good…and have been needing to rest from just about everything…including posting on here and my blog. I’ll post when I can but will probably keep letting my family or Erin update my accounts and reply to people because of how even the smallest things like typing can drain me so quickly. Thank you for understanding why I can’t always reply and thank you for letting me know that you all are praying for me! It encourages me more than I can say!!! God blessed my heart today with this verse: “For I the Lord do not change…” ~Malachi 3:6 He is STILL the God who HEALS, the God who PROVIDES, the God who covers us in the Shelter of His wings & the God who never leaves us or forsakes us. There have been daily scary episodes with my health the past 4 weeks that leave me pretty much debilitated for minutes to hours depending on the severity….without Him, I know I couldn’t keep going through this – but WITH HIM, His grace is sufficient and I know every day is one day closer to His promised healing. Thank you so much, friends! I love you all and pray for you often even when I am not strong enough to write. Thanking Jesus tonight for the gift of voting in this country of ours, the gift of wheel chairs for when we’re too weak to walk and the gift of a little burst of strength He gave me to let me vote as well. God is good. All the time! Blessings on all of you!

Love, Monica

P.S. – If you haven’t voted….you have NO EXCUSE!! Get out there and vote, people! God bless America!

Update

pray for monica

Hello Everyone!

I’m sorry for this very long over-due post.  Updates are happening more frequently on my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/helpingmonica) right now as my dear friend, Erin Kissling has been posting updates and pictures on there to keep everyone informed.  This post is going to be rather quick as my strength & energy can disappear almost instantly right now.  This is the first time in almost 3 weeks that I’ve even felt somewhat able to sit up and type and I can already feel it exhausting me greatly.

A little over 3 weeks ago I had completed 2 months of medications for my gut infection and that seemed to be clearing up and I was SLOWLY regaining strength and had worked up to biking several miles at a casual/easy pace.  I was starting to feel SO much better and really thought I was on the upward swing with the infection and Lyme.  And then, completely out of the blue I had an episode of collapsing and lost the ability to walk or use my arms very much.  It’s not uncommon for me to have an episode like that…but then it clears up after a couple hours or after a good night’s sleep.  The weakness, intense pain, burning and a whole host of other Lyme-Related symptoms continued and strength didn’t return.  A visit to one of my Doctors showed us that what I was taking to break the biofilm around the Lyme Spirochetes was working and they were probably being released into my body faster than I was killing them.  Hence this attack on my Central Nervous System, Muscles, Heart etc….  We are now ramping up my protocol for killing the Lyme and hoping that I pull out of this soon.  I’m already seeing some improvement with being able to sit up a little easier…and typing like I’m doing right now.  Most of the time though, I’m still curled up in a little ball – very nauseous, in extreme pain, and major weakness.  I think where I went wrong was cutting back so much on my Lyme treatments when I was fighting the infection and starting to feel better.  This battle against Lyme can be very unpredictable and very much a guessing game, even to Doctors.  When Lyme is in every cell of your body, like mine is…you can’t kill the lyme too quickly (people have died that way)….but you also can’t kill it too slowly.  So there is a constant delicate balance to find.  Finances were also an issue in discontinuing some of my treatments and instead of trying to keep fundraising…I thought I would just continue getting better as long as I was keeping up with some at home treatments.  I think that was also a mistake on my part that contributed towards this episode.  Even though it’s extremely difficult having a setback again, I’ve been so encouraged by the Lord’s love & faithfulness through this trial. <3  I don’t understand it, but I know that He is here and that He is working everything out for good. <3  Even when I haven’t had the energy to read it…I’ve been holding my Bible tightly today and up close to my heart….knowing that inside those pages is all the strength, joy, hope, comfort, love & reassurance I could ever need.

I thank each of you for the outpouring of love that you continually show me in your e-mails & comments.  Because of my health, I’m not able to reply to many right now…but please know that your thoughts & prayers are ALWAYS deeply appreciated and touch my heart. <3

I can tell that my body is needing to lay back down and rest now… I don’t know when another burst of energy will happen where I can write a blog post…but again, my friend is keeping up with my facebook page if you would like more frequent updates.

Thanks so much!!  God bless each of you.

Love Always,

Monica

Quick Update

Hello Everyone! Yesterday I completed my 30 day round of oral antibiotics that we thought would completely knock out the infection that I’m dealing with. Unfortunately, it didn’t. I would very much appreciate prayers on what the next step is to keep fighting this nasty infection. It’s really taken the wind out of my sails physically and is discouraging to feel like I’m losing a lot of ground in the fight against Lyme by taking up so much time to fight this current more pressing issue.

Thank you all SOOOOOOO SO much for your continued prayers, encouragement and support. It blesses and helps me more than you’ll ever know.

Grateful for a God who holds all things in His hands and praying for more grace to trust Him. “ALL His work is done in faithfulness.” ~Psalms 33:4, “He gives grace to the afflicted.” ~ Proverbs 3:34,

Love Always,
Monica

Update

Hello Everyone! Quick update…I’ve been on the strong antibiotic now for 3 weeks and am not seeing any signs of the infection decreasing. I’m still in a LOT of pain and am spending most of my time in bed resting because this has completely wiped out the little energy I did have. I have one more week on this current medication and if the infection doesn’t clear up in the next week I’ll have to go on antibiotics in shot form. REALLY HOPING and praying I won’t have to do that. Specific prayer request is for the last week of oral antibiotics to be successful. Thanks so SO very much for your prayers.
~Monica

Please Pray…

I feel far too weak to write anything very long tonight…but would really appreciate a very specific prayer request.  I’m fighting a pretty severe infection right now that we just finally found out yesterday is specifically Hemolytic Coli.  I’m incredibly miserable to say the least and so exhausted from all the Lyme Symptoms flaring up, this infection raging and the list could go on…  It’s great that we know what the infection is….but because of my liver condition I’m EXTREMELY limited as to what my options are for medications to fight it. 

Thanks so much for praying. <3  This is now the 5th gut infection I’ve had to fight in the past year and….it’s incredibly discouraging, exhausting and painful to say the least.

 

Thanks so much everyone!

 

Love,

Monica